Disclaimer: This Story is meant to be a parody of what would happen if Ninja Theory took over the development of the Metroid Franchise. I in no way support the way characters will be depicted within this story.


The Year is 2554 A.D, Humanity has expanded across the far reaches of Space, colonizing many Planets. They have made allies with many Alien Species and for years there was a great peace. Until a collection of an unknown Alien Race declared war upon Humanity, they refer to themselves only as the Space Pirates. One Woman alone can fight against this new evil, to prevent them from unleashing the ultimate doom upon the Galaxy... 

Chapter OneEdit

Ragnorok, Mixed species Colony. Downtown Grandopolis, 'shop' being worked on.

In the large center room of the small building; the Fan on the ceiling was spinning gently, as there was the sounds of running water coming from the back room, the phone on a metal desk began to ring. The backroom's door slided open. Samus Aran walked out. She was in her usual Blue Zero Suit; with her Jet Heels, and Power Bracelets. She was busy putting her Hair in her usual Ponytail. She finished and kicked a Chair into the air. It landed perfectly behind the Desk and she sat down on it. She put her Legs onto the Desk and banged the Desk, sending the Phone flying into her right Hand. She answered it.

"Sorry. Not open for Business yet." Samus spoke. She put the Phone down and laid back. She closed her Eyes and hummed to herself. Then there was the sound of the main door opening and footsteps. Samus looked at the cloaked figure who had entered. "Can't you read the Holo-Sign outside? Not open yet. If you need to use the Bathroom, it's in the back." Samus spoke. The Cloaked figure walked up to the Desk. 

"Are you Samus Aran?" The figure questioned.

"So what if i am?" Samus replied.

"You are in grave danger..." The figure informed.

"I hear that alot." Samus smirked. She pointed to a Space Pirate Head on the wall.

"You may want to get out of here." The figure spoke. Samus chuckled. The figure had disappeared. "Just what was all that about?" Samus pondered. She shrugged and reached for her Sandwhich.

A giant hand ripped through the building, sending debri everywhere. In the resulting explosion Samus was hurled out into the street. To protect herself from the blast she activated her Power Suit, but a 2nd explosion hurled her backwards and she crashed into the ground. Her Power Suit malfunctioned and it turned off. Samus stumbled back up. Debri was still flying about. Samus grabbed two Laser Pistols as they were being hurled towards her. A Space Pirate Titan stalked forward. It stomped on a Car. Samus turned around and looked at it.

"Can you handle this?" A voice spoke. Samus twirled the Pistols.

"This is what i live for... I'm absoulutely crazy about it!" Samus exclaimed. She aimed her Guns at the Titan.

Chapter TwoEdit

The Titan roared in Samus' Face.

"Puny Human. I will crush you like the filth you are." The Space Pirate growled.

"Urgh... Get a breathmint bozo, it smells like Urukian Dung." Samus retorted.

"Silence!" The Titan commanded.

"Yeah, yeah. Just shut it will you?" Samus replied. The Titan took a swipe at Samus but she backflipped away from it and shot him in the eye.

"Sh'tako!" The Space Pirate growled. Samus shot him six more times but he shrugged the shots off. "I will rip you limb from limb!" The Space Pirate roared.

"Pff, like i havn't heard that before." Samus replied.

The Titan charged but Samus used her Jet Heels to dash out of the way. The Titan crashed into a building and the rubble trapped it. Samus opened fire and repeatedly shot the Space Pirate in the back. On the 18th shot the Titan freed itself. It threw a chunk of metal at Samus she dashed out of the way. She fired a few more shots. The Titan stomped on the ground repeatedly, sending out shockwaves. Samus jumped over them all. The Titan charged again. Samus shot him in the Eye again; then jumped out of the way, the Space Pirate tripped over a Car, Samus jumped onto his back. She ran onto his Head and began to fire on it. After a few shots the Space Pirate swung for Samus but she used her Jet Heels to super jump off him, burning his Eyes in the process, and he hit himself in the Head. He roared in pain before getting up. Samus opened fire again, dodging claw swipes and stomps. Samus jumped onto the Titan's Hand as it collided with the ground. She ran up the Arm and fired on the Titan's face. She jump kicked off of the Space Pirate's Head and he again punched himself in the Face. He roared in anger and frustration. Samus chuckled to herself.

Samus noticed a Handle on the floor next to some rubble. She put her Guns away and kicked it into her Hand. She pressed a button on the side of it. A Yellow Laser Whip spewed out and Samus swung it about.

"Alright." Samus spoke.

She dodged a claw swipe and began to whip the Titan's Arm. It roared in pain and tried to stomp on Samus, but she rolled out of the way. She began to whip the Space Pirate's Leg before jumping up and whipping him across the face. He roared in agony as the Bounty Hunter jump kicked off his Face. Samus unleashed more whip strikes before pulling out her Pistols and shooting the Titan in the Face some more. She switched back to her Whip and unleashed more strikes. Samus dodged every claw swipe the Titan threw at her and continued her assualt. Eventually the Titan tired and fell down to his Knees. Samus pulled out her Pistols again.

"Grrgh... Worthless.... Little... Bi..." The Space Pirate was cut off by two charge shots down the Mouth. He slumped down, dead.

"The name's Samus Aran, Bounty Hunter. Got a nice ring to it, don't you think?" Samus smirked.

Chapter ThreeEdit

Samus walked away from the corpse and up to the wreckage of her Shop. She scowled at the burning ruin. A group of Space Pirate Warriors jumped down into the street, from the Dropship that had just arrived. They readied their Arm Cannons. Samus turned around to face them.

"Damn... You guys totally wrecked my Shop." Samus spoke. The Space Pirates talked to eachother in their own Language. They laughed. Samus growled. The ruin behind her collapsed on itself. Samus fired up her Laser Whip. "I hope you all have enough to cover all this!" Samus exclaimed.

Samus ran up to the Space Pirates and whipped one of them in half. They opened fire but Samus dodged all of the bolts. Samus kicked a Space Pirate in the Face, then whipped it into the air. She pulled out her Pistols and used the Laser fire to 'juggle' the Alien in the air. Samus finished it off with a kick as she jumped into the air. She spun around as she nose dived and rapidly fired her guns, blasting a bunch of Space Pirates. She flipped and landed on her Feet. She fired up her Whip and slashed at a Space Pirate that had tried to hit her. She whipped it in the Face and it fell to the ground. She jumped onto it.

"Wahoo!" Samus grinned, kicking the ground and using the Space Pirate like a skate board. She spun herself, and the Alien, around as she fired her Pistols in the faces of the Space Pirates. She jumped off the Space Pirate and fired down the Mouth of a charging Space Pirate. She kicked it into a Car. Samus jumped over a Laser Bolt and whipped the Space Pirate in the Head, dismembering it. Samus spun around repeatedly; whipping the surrounding Aliens until they were cut in half, she stopped and whipped the last Space Pirate into the Air, staying in the same pose until it crashed into the wrecked Car behind her. Samus smirked. She deactivated her Laser Whip.

The Space Pirate Major in the Dropship above looked out from the open door. Samus looked up and grinned. She walked forwards. "Got some fun planned for me, right freakshow!?" Samus exclaimed, putting her Arms out as she walked.

"Yol, hu tukk'a klin fo Sh'takko!" The Major spoke.

"Whatever you say man." Samus smirked. "Burn, you little piece of shit!" The Major growled as he jumped down. He pulled out a Plasma Katana.

"On the blood of our fathers, on the blood of our sons, i will purge you from existance!" The Major hissed.

"Oh shut up." Samus replied. The Major ran forward, but Samus jumped over him using her Jet Heels. She used her Laser Whip to disarm him, before running him through with the Plasma Katana. Blood poured from the Major's Mouth. Samus then cut him in half. The two pieces fell to the floor. Samus looked at the Katana.

"Sweet." She grinned. She deactivated the Plasma and put it on her back. She walked down the Street.

Chapter FourEdit

Downtown Grandopolis.

Civilians were running for their lives as Space Pirates unleashed Chaos on the area. They shot down a few unlucky Civilians. Cars exploded as they were battered with Laser fire. Federation troops were gunned down as soon as they jumped out of their Dropships. Space Pirate Dropships were busy obliterating a Skyscraper. Samus walked past the fleeing Civilians, both Pistols in hand. A few Space Pirates noticed her. They shot out Missiles but they missed. The ground behind Samus erupted in Red and Blue explosions; as she continued walking, guns in hand, and hair flowing in the wind. More Space Pirates noticed her and a group rallied up. Samus stopped.

"It's her..." One of the Space Pirates said to another. "My name is Samus." Samus grinned. She aimed her Pistols at them, holding them sideways. The Space Pirates readied their Arm Cannons.

Just then a Space Pirate Dropship exploded; crashing into another, that then collided with the Space Pirates below, crushing them to death.

"Hmph... I had that under control." Samus spoke. A Federation Dropship dropped in a platoon of Marines and a Combat Mech. The Combat Mech ran down the street; crushing Space Pirate Warriors, and pouncing at a Titan. The two collided. The Titan punched the Mech's Head but the Mech cut through it's Chest with a Plasma Blade, before shooting it in the Face with a Laser Chaingun. The Space Pirates were running for their lives. Samus used her Plasma Katana to chop off one of the Alien's Head. It fell to the ground next to her, dead. The last few made it to their Dropship and took off. Samus stood there, with her Arms folded, while she tapped her Foot and sighed.

"How boring that was." Samus sighed. A trio of Federation Marines surrounded her.

"Hey... Isn't this that Bounty Hunter that everyone talks about?" One of the Marines spoke.

"Wait. It's a chick? I always thought..." The 2nd responded.

"Well we only ever see footage of the Armor." The 3rd spoke.

"Yeah but... Wow. Looks like the supreme Bounty Hunter needed a rescue. We boys in Blue saved the girl." The 2nd laughed.

"You ok darling?" The 3rd chuckled.

"How about we escort you to safety?" The 2nd laughed. Samus kneed him in the Crotch.

"My name is Samus, Rooks." She scowled. A 4th Marine laughed at the unfortunate 2nd Marine. "Find something funny soldier?" Inquired Samus.

"No..." He groaned as he fell to the floor. Samus smirked.

Chapter FiveEdit

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